The comedown from adderall is just like any other drug to me. I'm not particularly familiar, but coming down from being high on weed sucks, coming down from being drunk sucks, adderall sucks too. But I know its going to suck, so I'm mentally prepared (as everyone should be) and know that when I get all bummed out over nothing, that its just a little withdrawl and nothing more. I take it when I have stuff to do, and I enjoy the high. I'm an abuser, hope you understand me.
This is so hard for me to respond to, because I honestly have conflicting feelings about Adderall. Dealing with it in high school was one of the scariest things in my life. I had been on it since elementary school and my dose was around 40mg XR. On the days that I forgot to take it, I was a horrible, awful walking zombie. On the days that I did take it, my heart would beat like crazy and I was turned into a nervous work-horse, perfectionist that couldn’t sit still. I felt like I didn’t know who I truly was, didn’t know what my real and natural personality was because most of my significant personality traits were being influenced by the drug- I was a perfectionist, stubborn and “hard-worker”. I always needed something to work on, no matter how mundane. And while this was great for my grades, it scared the heck out of me to feel like I didn’t know my true self. I was constantly wondering what I would have been had I not been on Adderall for most of my life. Would I have been more popular? More daring? But it was now Junior/Senior year of high school and I couldn’t stop taking it for fear that my grades would drop, grades that I really needed for college scholarships. So I was stuck in this awful period of identity crisis while all of my friends around me seemed to be discovering who they really were.
When I got off of it during my freshman year of college, I felt free. I could relax. Genuinely relax and just sit with new friends. I could stop being so damn anal about everything. Stop thinking about homework 24/7. I could think about having fun and connecting with people.
I know it is over-reacting, that an occasional user won’t deal with the devastating withdrawls I did. But I still don’t want people to go through even a little of what I felt while being on it. Its like trying to watch a friend go out with a guy that cheated on you.
As I am typing this, my first Adderall pill after almost 2 years is finally kicking in, and I have to say I don’t miss the feeling. The restlessness in my limbs, the conflicting pull in my chest that is telling me to go do something, when I just want to sit here and scroll down tumblr. I’m not saying that there aren’t people out there who need it. That’s where my conflicting feelings come in. I am one of those people who need it, unfortunately. It has some good aspects. But PLEASE don’t write it off as some miracle drug, or harmless thing to play with because it can mess with your life, especially if you become addicted to the high.